The lake board

"Bluegill hit a worm off the dock any time of day. Even you can manage that."Marge

"Pumpkinseeds sit in the cove shallows. Worms, while it is light out. Try to keep up."Marge

"Crappie come out at dawn and dusk. Minnows or a jig, dock or cove. Yes, that is the real name."Marge

"Perch like worms or minnows. Dock or river, while it is light out. Not exactly rocket science."Marge

"Walleye feed in low light. Minnow or jig, dusk into night. Bring a flashlight, genius."Marge

"Largemouth hang in the cove. Throw a spinner or a minnow at them. Not AT them. You know what I mean."Marge

"Smallmouth like moving water. River, mornings, jig or minnow. They fight dirty."Marge

"Lake trout live deep in open water. Minnow, spinner or jig, mornings. That means a boat. Boats cost money. You know how this works."Marge

"Rainbows are river fish. Mornings, on a worm or a spinner. They are prettier than you."Marge

"Brookies are small and pretty. River, worm, early in the day. Try not to cry when you catch one."Marge

"Big browns hunt the river at night. Minnow or spinner. They are smarter than they look. Unlike some people."Marge

"Golden trout hold in the river run, waist deep. Bright flies only, early. Waders and patience. You have one of those."Marge

"Pickerel lurk in the Backwater. Spinner or minnow, daytime. You will need a canoe, and you do not have one. Probably."Marge

"Pike have teeth and a temper. River or cove, daytime, spinner or minnow. Keep your fingers."Marge

"Fish of ten thousand casts. Cove, spinner, and a lot of stubbornness. You have done maybe twelve."Marge

"Catfish come out at night. Stinkbait at the river. Smells awful. Works great. Do not hug me after."Marge

"Flatheads want live bait. Minnows, river, dead of night. Bring a bigger rod than that."Marge

"Carp love sweet corn. Cove or dock, afternoon. So do the sunfish, so mind the weeds. The big ones will humble you. Good."Marge

"Buffalo cruise the far flats like they own them. Carp cousins, bigger and dumber. Corn or worms. Waders, or you are swimming."Marge

"Bowfin are older than dirt and twice as mean. Backwater, low light, minnow or worm. Canoe required."Marge

"Gar sun themselves in the cove. Minnow, middle of the day. All teeth, no manners."Marge

"There is a gar in the Backwater as long as my canoe. Minnow or crayfish. Bring a net and somebody who does not scare easy."Marge

"Sturgeon are older than this town. River bottom, night, stinkbait. Bring a friend. You have one, right?"Marge

"Fishermen out on open water at night talk about an eel in the fog. Glowing. Big. I just sell the bait."Marge

"Strange little glowing things in the quarry at night. Do not ask me what they are. I mean it."Marge

"My grandpa swore he saw a koi glowing like a coal off the dock at sunset. Fed it corn. Nobody believed him either."Marge

"There is a gar in the cove you can see through. Only at night. On minnows, they say. They say a lot."Marge